InuYasha Reality TV
by Zehira
Summary: Megan and Nicole are put in a house with Miroku, Koga, and Sesshomaru, among other people. Will they survive?
1. Show Overview

**Show Overview**  
  
This is a reality show about two very good friends, Megan and Nicole, and their many fictional boyfriends. Megan, Nicole, Sesshomaru, Koga, Leesil, and Miroku all live in the same house as an experiment, and we are seeing how long it will take them to kill each other, which shouldn't take very long. Sometimes, random OTHER boyfriends pop in on Nicole or Megan, and then the show gets a little more interesting. Our cameraman, Larry, isn't very patient and he often takes coffee breaks at inoppurtune times. We're looking into this problem and thinking about installing a coffee maker inside his camera. Or firing him and hiring a new, more patient, cameraperson. Now, let's introduce all our main characters.  
  
Megan AKA Meganette: Human and the nicer and more patient of the two girls. Two of her boyfriends are Leesil and Miroku, who live in the house.  
  
Nicole AKA Nicolette: Cat demon and the peacekeeper of the house. She does her best to keep the peace, but some things just aren't possible. Two of her boyfriends are Sesshomaru and Koga, who live in the house and are constantly bickering.  
  
Leesil AKA Mr. Underwear Drawer: Half-elf and former assassin. He often carries stilettos for apparently no reason, because weapons aren't permitted in the house. He tries to kill Sesshomaru and Koga with them, but luckily Megan doesn't allow it. He enjoys hiding in Nicole's underwear drawer, which infuriates Nicole and her boyfriends. He's one of Megan's boyfriends.  
  
Sesshomaru AKA Sesshy: Dog demon and lord. He's extremely vain but head-over-heals for Nicole. He often bickers with Koga like a little child and has an extreme love for lollipops. He's one of Nicole's boyfriends.  
  
Koga: Wolf demon and clan leader. He's somewhat reckless, but a rather lovable oaf. He often bickers with Sesshomaru, but usually loses to Sesshomaru's cleverness. He loves cookies a lot. He's one of Nicole's boyfriends.  
  
Miroku: Monk and all the time lecher. Miroku is a definite pervert, but is actually very sweet. He is a real lover of women, but obviously cares a lot about Megan. He tries to keep the peace too, but isn't very successful. He was once eaten by Sesshomaru, which was a very "traumatic" experience. He's one of Megan's boyfriends.  
  
Well, now you know a little about each of the characters. Remember to keep watching Megan, Nicole, and Their Funny Fictional Boyfriends! cough cough Sorry, my water went down the wrong pipe. hack Sorry about that. cough Till next time then! cough


	2. Episode 1

The camera swings in on Megan, who is talking about a certain someone. The host sits in the corner of the large living room, quietly observing everyone.  
  
Megan: Miroku's hot.  
  
Leesil does a Shippo pout.  
  
Megan: That's okay, I love you too, Leesil.  
  
Leesil smiles and kisses Megan.  
  
The camera swings over to Nicole, Koga, and Sesshomaru.  
  
Koga: You love me, right?  
Nicole: Yep. kisses him  
Sesshomaru: But what about me?  
Nicole: I love you too. kisses him too  
Koga: But I thought you loved me!  
Nicole: I do!  
Sesshomaru: But she loves me more!  
Koga: No she doesn't!  
  
The camera zooms in on Nicole who gets terribly confused and upset and runs repeatedly into a wall.  
  
Koga: See what you did!  
Sesshomaru: I didn't do it! You did!  
  
Nicole somehow gets caught in the ceiling fan and starts spinning around and around.  
  
Nicole: A little help here!  
  
The camera zooms over to Megan who sees that Nicole is in trouble.  
  
Megan: Leesil, go rescue Nicolette RIGHT NOW!  
  
The camera follows Leesil as he goes to help Nicole and gets attacked by Koga and Sesshomaru because they think he's trying to steal her.  
  
The camera swings over to Megan grabbing a katana.  
  
Megan: GET OFF MY LEESIL!  
  
The camera zooms on Megan who attacks Koga then gets hurt somehow and ends up on the floor unconsious.  
  
The camera swings over to Koga again as he rescues Nicole.  
  
Koga: Sorry, Nicole.  
Nicole: It's okay, baby.  
Sesshomaru: Hey, I wanted to rescue her!  
Koga: Ha ha! I got to her first!  
  
The camera zooms in on Nicole as she rolls her eyes and then zooms out as she goes over to Megan.  
  
Nicole: Hey you doofuses you knocked her out! And leesil, thank you for trying to save me! And Koga and Sesshy, don't attack Leesil. pokes Megan Wake up!  
  
The camera zooms in on Megan when she doesn't wake up and then moves to Leesil as he begins to panic.  
  
Nicole pats Leesil on the shoulder.  
  
Nicole: It's okay, Mr. Underwear Drawer Man.  
  
The camera zooms out as Nicole throws water over Megan. It then zooms out even more to include Koga and Sesshomaru in the shot.  
  
Koga: Why did you call him Mr. Underwear Drawer Man?  
Nicole: Because he hides in my underwear drawer a lot.  
Sesshomaru: Hey! No one's allowed in your underwear drawer but me!  
Nicole: I don't let him in there. He chose to do it.  
  
The camera zooms in on Koga as he attacks Leesil.  
  
Koga: Only I am allowed to be in her underwear drawer!  
  
The camera zooms in on Sesshomaru as HE attacks Leesil.  
  
Sesshomaru: No, only I am!  
  
The camera then zooms in on Nicole's annoyed face as she bonks both of them on the head.  
  
Nicole: Cut it out and don't attack Leesil!  
  
The camera swings over to Megan as she wakes up suddenly with a scream and attacks Sesshomaru and Koga.  
  
Megan: I SAID GET OFF MY LEESIL!!!!!!  
  
The camera zooms out as Koga gets off Leesil and so does Sesshomaru, and they both turn to Nicole.  
  
Koga: Sorry, babe.  
Nicole: It's ok, I forgive you.  
Sesshomaru: You're not allowed to call her babe! Only I am! Sorry, babe.  
Nicole: I forgive you too.  
Koga: She's MY babe.  
Sesshomaru: No! MINE!  
Nicole: STOP ARGUING!!  
  
The camera majorly zooms in on Megan as she randomly wonders where Miroku went.  
  
The camera zooms out and Nicole comforts Megan.  
  
Nicole: They shall never do it again. Right, boys?  
  
The camera zooms out even more as Koga and Sesshomaru both nod and hang their heads in shame.  
  
Koga and Sesshomaru: Yes, ma'am.  
Koga: Are you talking to my baby at the same time that I did?  
Sesshomaru: She's MY baby!  
Koga: No, she's not. She's MINE!  
Sesshomaru: Nope. Mine.  
  
THe camera zooms in as Koga sticks his tongue out at Sesshomaru, then Sesshomaru makes a face at Koga.  
  
Koga: MINE!  
Sesshomaru: MINE and I'm telling that you stuck your tongue out at me!  
Koga: MINE and I'm telling that you made a face at me!  
  
The camera zooms out as they both turn to Nicole.  
  
Sesshomaru: He stuck his tongue out at me!  
Koga: Well, he made a face at me!  
Nicole: I don't care.  
Megan: Nicole, control them...they're worse than two little kids...  
  
The camera swings over to Leesil, zooming in, as he grins and pulls out a stiletto.  
  
Leesil: I'll take care of them.  
Host: You aren't allowed to have weapons, Leesil.  
Leesil: I don't care.  
Megan: Leesil, don't hurt them.  
  
The camera zooms out as Leesil goes after them with the stiletto, the host following close behind. Koga and Sesshomaru throw up their hands in defense, hiding behind each other.  
  
Nicole: Don't hurt my babies!  
Megan: They aren't hurt...Leesil wouldn't hurt them. glares at Leesil Would you?  
  
Leesil backs away from them slowly.  
  
Nicole: Koga, if you don't stop messing with Sesshomaru, you go to bed without cookies. And Sesshomaru, if you don't stop making fun of Koga, you go to bed without a lollipop.  
  
Sesshomaru and Koga pout, then nod reluctantly.  
  
Megan: Ha ha, they ARE little kids. How can you be in love with little kids? You sicko!  
  
The camera zooms in as Nicole starts sobbing uncontrollably.  
  
Koga: You made her cry! That wasn't very nice! hugs Nicole  
Sesshomaru: Yeah, that wasn't nice at all! hugs Nicole on her other side  
  
The camera swings over to Megan and Leesil.  
  
Megan: Leesil, put the weapons away and come here.  
Leesil: Okay.  
  
Leesil puts his weapons away and goes over and hugs Megan.  
  
Host: Thank you for controlling him, Megan.  
Megan: Not a problem.  
  
The camera swings back over to Nicole, Sesshomaru, and Koga.  
  
Koga: Hey, I was hugging her first!  
Sesshomaru: So what? She likes me better!  
Koga: Nuh-uh!  
Sesshomaru: Yeah-huh!  
Koga: Nuh-uh!  
Sesshomaru: Yeah-huh!  
Nicole: SHUT UP, YOU TWO!!!  
Koga and Sesshomaru: Yes, ma'am. both hug her  
  
The camera zooms in on the host as he rolls his eyes.  
  
The camera then swings over to the door as Tsume casually walks in and sees two other guys holding Nicole and becomes enraged.  
  
The camera then swings over to Megan as she starts looking around for Miroku.  
  
Megan: Have you seen him?  
Sesshomaru: Me, seen him? No...fake innocent smile  
Megan: NICOLE MAKE HIM GIVE ME MIROKU RIGHT NOW!!!  
  
The camera zooms in on Nicole as she looks sternly at Sesshomaru.  
  
Nicole: Did you eat him!?  
  
The camera zooms in on Sesshomaru as he burps and does shifty eyes.  
  
Sesshomaru: No...  
  
The camera zooms out as Nicole pounds on Sesshomaru until Miroku comes out.  
  
Miroku walks over to Megan.  
  
Miroku: That was the most traumatic experience of my life. Hold me, Megan. grope  
  
Megan slaps Miroku then glares at Sesshomaru.  
  
Megan: You ATE Miroku?!  
  
Megan attacks Sesshomaru with the Tetsusaiga that she stole from Inuyasha.  
  
Sesshomaru: sobs I'm a demon and humans taste good! Lay off!  
  
Sesshomaru hides behind Nicole.  
  
Koga: snorts Well, I'd never eat a human! snuggles Nicole Because Nicole is a prettiful cat demon. But I don't know what that had to do with anything.  
  
The camera swings over to Megan, Leesil, and Miroku.  
  
Megan: Are you okay, Miroku?  
Leesil: glare Why'd he have to come? I thought I got you.  
  
The camera swings back over to Nicole, Koga, and Sesshomaru as Tsume finally makes his move and walks over to Nicole.  
  
Tsume: Who are these guys?  
Sesshomaru: I'm her lover.  
Koga: No, I am!  
Sesshomaru: No me!  
Nicole: sweat drops They're two little children that I happen to love and cherish. But don't worry I still love ya, baby. kisses Tsume  
Tsume: blushes Yay!  
  
The camera swings to a close-up of Megan's face. She blinks.  
  
Megan: Are you ever going to make up your mind?  
  
The camera zooms out a little.  
  
Megan rolls her eyes and goes over to Miroku to make sure that Sesshomaru didn't injure him and then gives Leesil a hug.  
  
The camera then does a close-up of Nicole's face.  
  
Nicole: Make up my mind about what?  
  
The camera swings over to Megan's group.  
  
Megan: Which guy you're gonna choose. Come on, it's obvious that I've already chosen.  
  
Megan goes back to taking care of Miroku and hugging Leesil. Miroku hugs her.  
  
Megan: Aww, how sweet. hugs him back  
  
Miroku then walks over to Nicole and kneels in front of her, holding her hand.  
  
Miroku: Nicole, will you bear my child since Megan will not yet? grope  
Nicole: slaps him Perv! You have a girlfriend!  
  
Koga growls and nearly attacks Miroku, but Sesshomaru holds him back. Sesshomaru growls and nearly attacks Miroku, but Tsume holds him back. Tsume tries to attack Miroku, but Nicole knocks him out.  
  
The camera swings over to Megan's angry face.  
  
Megan: He has a girlfriend? glares at Miroku And all this time you acted likeyou loved me, but there was someone else!? slaps him  
  
Nicole clears her throat and the camera swings back to her.  
  
Nicole: Uh, Megan, I was talking about you.  
  
The camera zooms out so both of them are in the shot. Megan blinks.  
  
Megan: Oopsie, sorry Miroku. hugs him Wait a sec...I'm not his girlfriend!...Am I?  
Nicole: Aren't you? I have at least three boyfriends. nods  
Tsume, Koga, and Sesshomaru: AT LEAST three?! Who are the others!?  
  
Megan laughs hysterically as Nicole sweat drops.  
  
Megan: Nicole, I always knew that you'd need to pick one of them sometimes.  
  
Nicole sweat-drops even more under the boys' stares.  
  
Nicole: Well, uh...there's um, Spike...and uh, Angel. But they're not here and you all still love me!  
Tsume: Of course I do, babe. I gotta go back to looking for Paradise, though. See ya! I'll tell Kiba, Toboe, and Hige that you say hi!  
Nicole: Okay, babes. kisses  
  
Koga and Sesshomaru both get outrageously jealous and pout.  
  
The camera swings over to Megan, who's still hugging Miroku.  
  
Leesil: pouts What happened to me being hugged?  
  
Megan hands Leesil a cookie and hugs him.  
  
Megan: Go hang out with Magiere for a while.  
  
The camera goes back over to Nicole, as the cameraman gets tired of swinging the camera back and forth. The scene goes black for a minute, while the cameraman takes a coffee break. The host chases the cameraman. Voices are still heard though.  
  
Koga: I wanna kiss too!  
  
Nicole is heard kissing Koga.  
  
Koga: Yay!  
Sesshomaru: What about me? You only give scrawny wolves kisses now? Tsume's a wolf and you kissed him and now you're kissing Koga, who's a wolf demon. I wanna kiss now too!  
  
The cameraman returns and now the scene can be seen again. Nicole rolls her eyes and kisses Sesshomaru, hugging him. The host returns to his corner in the living room.  
  
Nicole: There. Happy?  
  
Sesshomaru nods then walks away as the camera follows him down the hallway to the bathroom. He flicks the camera off, which is now censored, and the camera returns to Nicole nibbling on Koga's ear. The cameraman coughs on his coffee and the camera moves, then is steady again. The host is seen rolling his eyes in Sesshomaru's direction, then staring wide-eyed at Koga and Nicole.  
  
Nicole: Ha ha!  
Koga: nibbles on her ear Ha ha ha!  
  
Sesshomaru returns from the bathroom and sees Koga and Nicole, getting jealous and pouting.  
  
Megan: blinks Wow, that's special.  
  
The scene fades on Koga nibbling on Nicole's ear, Miroku watching with his eyebrow raised, Megan blinking in a sort of shock, Sesshomaru pouting like a child, and the host staring wide-eyed and open-mouthed.  
  
Now is seen a close-up shot of the host.  
  
Host:  
Well, we've seen what happens today. Will Tsume ever reach Paradise? We don't know, but if you watch Wolf's Rain you'll see! Tune in next time to see what happens in this strange house full of strange people!  
  
This show was brought to you by: Nicole's patient typing while talking to 4 people!  
  
No animals or demons were harmed in the making of this reality show, except maybe for Miroku who was a tragic victim of Sesshomaru's immense appetite. The stilettos that Leesil carried were real. I repeat, they were REAL. Thank you for watching this show.


	3. Episode 2

The camera zooms in on Nicole who is still sleeping at 1:30 in the afternoon. She snores loudly.

Megan: Wake up, Nicole!

The camera zooms in on Sesshomaru as he goes over to give her a hug.

Sesshomaru: Get up!

Nicole: growls and punches Sesshomaru, not knowing who he is I don't wanna! Leave me alone!

Sesshomaru: Grr...shakes her GET UP!

The camera zooms in on Nicole as she rolls over and grumbles, sound asleep again. The camera zooms out again as Koga shakes her on her other side.

Koga: Baby, it's time to get up. We're hungry.

Nicole growls and pulls the sheet over her head.

The camera zooms out again as Leesil walks in and throws a stiletto at Koga and Sesshomaru for trying to wake up Nicole.

Megan: No, like this.

Megan throws ice water over Nicole, drenching her and the blanket.

A hidden camera clicks on and follows the host from the room as he chases Leesil.

Host: No weapons!

Larry's camera zooms onto Nicole as she shivers and wakes up, shrieking.

Nicole: WHAT THE censored WAS THAT FOR!

The hidden camera zooms in on Sesshomaru and Koga, who are running from Leesil. Then Megan comes into the shot as she chases the host.

Megan: Don't hurt my Leesil! Miroku's already injur-wait, where'd he go?

Miroku's voice is heard faintly from some far off place.

Miroku: Help me...

Larry's camera zooms out a little as Nicole covers herself with the sheet and chases Megan.

Nicole: Don't wake me up like that!

We're brought again to our hidden camera as the host is still chasing Leesil and now running from an enraged Megan. Larry's camera switches over to this shot as the hidden camera now follows Sesshomaru and Koga to the bathroom, where they discover Miroku stuck inside the toilet.

Koga: What are you doing in there!

Larry's camera zooms in on Megan as she stops chasing the host and runs to the bathroom to rescue Miroku. The hidden camera clicks off for the time being.

Megan: How the heck did you get in there!

The camera does a close-up of the toilet as Miroku tries to answer, but only bubbles are seen in the water.

Megan: Did Sesshomaru give you an atomic swirly again? glares at Sesshomaru

Nicole appears in the bathroom as the camera zooms out to include her in the shot. Apparently, she was still chasing Megan for waking her up so rudely.

Nicole: What's Miroku doing in the toilet?

Nicole covers herself better with the sheet, realizing she's not wearing the best pajamas in the world if Miroku is around.

The camera zooms into a close-up of Sesshomaru's face as he does shifty eyes and answers Megan's question.

Sesshomaru: Of course not! Why would I do that?

The camera zooms out again as Koga reaches in the toilet to help Miroku out.

Leesil appears in the bathroom, followed by a panting host.

Leesil: Miroku, how'd you get in there? Wait a sec...

The camera zooms in on Leesil as he pulls out another stiletto and prepares to attack Sesshomaru. The camera zooms out as Megan takes the stiletto away from Leesil.

Megan: I'll just hold onto that for a little while...By the way, are you naked, Nicole? If so, I suggest you go put some clothes on before we rescue Miroku.

The camera zooms in on the toilet as more gurgling sounds are heard. It zooms back out again and swings over to Megan, zooming in once more.

Megan: GET HIM OUT ALREADY BEFORE HE DROWNS!

The camera zooms out to include the whole bathroom in the shot. Megan hands the stiletto back to Leesil and lets him prepare to attack Sesshomaru if nothing is done to rescue Miroku. The host takes the new stiletto along with the others.

Host: No weapons!

Nicole answers Megan's question, finally.

Nicole: No, I'm not naked, just in short pajamas.

The hidden camera clicks on and follows Sesshomaru as he slowly inches out of the bathroom. Larry's camera zooms in on Koga as he pulls Miroku out of the toilet.

Koga: How'd you get in the toilet, dude?

Larry's camera zooms over to Leesil who's pouting in the corner.

Leesil: I want my stilettos back.

Larry's camera zooms out again to include the whole bathroom in the shot.

Megan: Mr. Host Dude, give them back right NOW! You aren't allowed to interfere with the happenings in this house...it's a REALITY show, remember?

Miroku recovers quickly and decides to use his wind tunnel on Sesshomaru.

Miroku: Where'd he go? looks outside the bathroom to see Sesshomaru riding around on the ceiling fan that Nicole was stuck on in the previous episode.

The hidden camera zooms in on Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru: Maybe if I stay up here, they can't get me.

Larry's camera zooms in on the host.

Host: There are no weapons allowed! I don't care if this is a reality show. And Miroku, don't use your wind tunnel in the house! Do you know how much everything in here cost!

Larry's camera then zooms in on Koga who is scrubbing his hands incessantly. (sp?)

Koga: Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!

Larry's camera zooms out as Nicole pats Koga on the back and pulls her sheet up more as it slips down.

Nicole: That was a nice thing for you to do.

Larry's camera zooms out even more as Megan tackles the host and refuses to let him up until he apologizes.

Megan: Do NOT be mean to Leesil or Miroku...give Leesil his stiletto back right NOW!

Miroku grins and wind tunnels a very expensive lamp.

Miroku: Ha! Take that! Oops, sorry, Mr. Host Dude. Wait, what was your name again?

Host: You are not allowed to know my name.

Leesil steals his stiletto back and goes to attack Sesshomaru...just as Larry takes a coffee break.

Nicole is heard shrieking and then there is a loud slapping noise.

Miroku: It was worth the pain.

Sesshomaru is heard yelling in fear in the other room, and Leesil is then heard running away.

Host: Sorry, Megan.

Megan is heard letting the host up, then Larry comes back. Koga has an infuriated look on his face as he starts walking toward Miroku. The hidden camera zooms in on Sesshomaru who is out of the ceiling fan and is covering his face. Nicole walks in the room.

Nicole: Why is your face covered?

Sesshomaru: Because I took my makeup off to scare Leesil away and now I don't want anyone to see me. I look horrible.

Larry's camera zooms in on Megan's angry face as she's glaring at Miroku.

Megan: Don't you ever touch her again! starts randomly screaming at him

Larry's camera then moves over to Leesil, who has a traumatized look on his face, still afraid of Sesshomaru.

Leesil: Ahhh! I didn't know someone could be that ugly without makeup!  
Miroku: ...

The hidden camera clicks off as Nicole comforts Sesshomaru who is sobbing into his hands. Larry's camera clicks off as Leesil curls up into a fetal postion, sucking his thumb and rocking back and forth, Miroku blinking and saying, "Sesshomaru wears makeup?", Megan kneeling down to comfort Leesil, and Koga laughing and running into the other room to see how ugly Sesshomaru really is.

The host's face is seen now.

Host: Well, we've had a lot of fun today. Nicole being drenched in ice water, Miroku getting stuck in the toilet, Sesshomaru taking off his makeup...funny stuff. Don't forget to tune in next time to see what Sesshomaru really looks like without his makeup and some other quirks! Oh yeah, I bet a lot of you are wondering why Nicole and Koga were nibbling on each other's ears. long pause Well, see ya!

This show was brought to you by: the new and improved edible Swiffer cloths! Now, when you're finished cleaning, you can eat the cloths instead of throwing them away! Comes in chocolate, raspberry, paper, and chicken flavors. (Note: Actually eating these filthy edible cloths may be harmful to your health.)

Once again, Miroku was the only one physically harmed in the making of this episode. Poor Miroku. Leesil was emotionally harmed, but that doesn't really matter. And also, don't forget that Leesil's stilettos are still REAL! Kids, don't try anything you see in this show at home! Well, actually, we don't really care if you try it at home or not, because we're producers, and we just want you to watch our show! We're required to say "Don't try this at home" even though we don't care. Oops, I wasn't supposed to say that, was I? Oh well. Keep watching anyway! (Kids, don't listen to your stick-in-the-mud parents when they say not to do watch the people in this show do. They're just trying to spoil your fun. person doing this voiceover gets dragged away by an angry humanitarian)


	4. Authors Note

Hey guys, this is just a quick note..

There are only a few more completed episodes. After that time you might have to wait awhile until we finish writing more. At the moment we are unable to work on them because Nicolette is out of town and can not contribute..

Alright enough making you listen to me talk about nothing. Have fun with the next chapters.


	5. Episode 3

The scene starts on Koga eating a cookie, Sesshomaru licking a lollipop, Nicole wedged between them, watching both of them and occasionally getting bites, Miroku practicing cool battle stances, Leesil tossing a stiletto up in the air repeatedly, and Megan laughing hysterically at everyone. Megan then gets up and goes over to Nicole, whispering.

Megan: I need to talk to you.

The camera zooms in on Sesshomaru and Koga, who are both happily munching on their sweets. It zooms out again, showing Nicole getting up, hugging Koga and Sesshomaru, then leaving the room with Megan, the camera following both of them.

Nicole: What's wrong?

Megan still whispers.

Megan: I think Miroku has another girlfriend.

Megan starts to cry.

Nicole: Aww, I'm sure he wouldn't cheat on you.

Nicole hugs Megan sympathetically. Megan still cries quietly.

Megan: But I'm not sure...he always seems to be gone, and its not always Sesshy's fault...when Leesil's gone then at least there's a reason...

Nicole: Well, maybe, sometime we should send a spy after him...there's only so many places he can go, considering we can't leave the grounds. shrugs I'm sure I know something that can go after him.

Megan sniffles and hugs Nicole.

Megan: Thanks...

Nicole: No prob.

They walk back together to the room where the others are, the camera following them once more. The camera then zooms in on the host, who walks in.

Host: All right, everyone! Listen up! I have an announcement to make!

The camera zooms out so the whole room is in the shot, and it shows everyone talking contentedly with each other, paying no attention whatsoever to the host.

Host: AGGA SHO BLUDDA BOO BUP!

Everyone looks at the host confusedly.

Host: Got your attention, didn't I? Now, onto the real announcement. Our producers have decided, since this is a reality show, it needs some sort of twist. The twist is this: Nicole, Megan, you two must choose one of your boyfriends before the day is up, and kick the other out of the house. That's all.

The camera zooms in once more on the host as he nods and leaves, then shows the whole room again. Megan gasps, panics, and looks at Nicole. Nicole gasps, panics, and looks at Megan. Leesil and Miroku start panicking. Leesil and Miroku walk over to Megan.

Leesil: You'll pick me, right?

Miroku: No, she'll pick me!

Megan gets terribly upset and runs into a wall, then falls to the floor, unconcious. The camera swings over to Nicole's group as Sesshomaru and Koga gasp and look at each other, then smile smugly.

Sesshomaru and Koga: simultaneously She'll choose me!

Nicole panics and runs over to Megan, the camera following her, and throws ice cold water over her. Megan grumbles.

Megan: Ugh, Nicole, if you ever do that again...the point to me knocking myself out was so that I don't have to choose!

Megan goes upstairs and decides to jump out the window. The camera follows everyone as they follow her to one of the upstairs bedrooms, which happens to be Leesil's.

Miroku: NO, DON'T JUMP!

Nicole runs as fast as she can and pulls Megan off the windowsill, slapping her.

Nicole: GET A HOLD ON YOURSELF, WOMAN!

The camera zooms in on Sesshomaru and Koga.

Sesshomaru: I know she'll pick me.

Koga: Nope, she'll pick me.

Sesshomaru: No, me!

Koga starts to imitate Sesshomaru like a little child.

Koga: I wear makeup and eat lollipops like a little girl. I must BE a little girl.

Koga returns to acting like himself.

Koga: How come we never got to see you without your makeup? What a rip-off! Cheap producers!

The camera follows Megan and Nicole as they start walking downstairs.

Megan: Hey, Nicole, I need to speak to you.

Megan notices the boys following them around.

Megan: ...ALONE.

Leesil, Miroku, Sesshomaru, and Koga pout.

Megan: Get over it.

Megan grabs Nicole and they continue all the way down the stairs.

Megan: I don't know what I'm going to do...I mean, I love them both...but...

Megan trails off and looks away.

Nicole: I know what you mean...I love my two so much, also. I can't believe the producers would do this to us. It's so cruel!

The hidden camera clicks on upstairs, watching the boys. Sesshomaru sucks on his lollipop some more.

Sesshomaru: I bet they're deciding who they're gonna choose. I think she'll choose me.

Koga: You wish. We all know she'll choose me.

Miroku and Leesil both start crying, afraid that Megan will choose the other guy.

Larry's camera picture is now seen again.

Megan: So...what are we gonna do?

Both of the girls start crying. They slowly pull themselves together. Megan gets up and starts going back upstairs. Larry's camera follows and so does Nicole. The hidden camera clicks off. Megan hugs Miroku and Leesil.

Megan: Don't worry, guys. I'll find a way to keep you both.

Miroku: I hope Nicole gets rid of Sesshomaru...

Leesil: Nope, she needs to get rid of Koga...he's extremely annoying...

Megan: Hmm...how about she gets rid of both of them and then I can keep both of you?

The camera zooms over to Nicole's group.

Nicole: Hey, you can't say that!

Nicole hugs both of her boys.

Nicole: And Leesil, I thought you hated Sesshy more.

Nicole snuggles Sesshomaru, then snuggles Koga.

Koga: I knew she'd pick me!

Sesshomaru: She hasn't chosen yet, dorkwad!

Koga: Oh.

Koga snuggles Nicole back anyway. The camera swings back over to Megan's group.

Megan: Um...rolls her eyes Darn, I thought I'd gotten a good idea, too...

Leesil: I hate both of them.

Miroku: You'll pick me, right?

Leesil glares and Miroku pouts.

Megan: I haven't decided yet.

The camera zooms out, so the whole room is once again in the shot. Nicole shields Koga and Sesshomaru from Leesil's glare.

Nicole: They're like little kids! If you glare at them, they'll cry! And when they cry, they CRY!

Koga: I know she'll pick me whenever she decides.

Koga gets up and sneaks off to his room for something. Larry gets lazy and decides not to follow him or have the hidden camera follow him. Sesshomaru rolls his eyes.

Sesshomaru: Whatever.

Nicole hugs Sesshomaru tighter to her and leans her head down on his chest, sobbing quietly. Sesshomaru holds her against him with one arm and strokes her hair with the other.

Nicole: I can't believe I have to choose...

Megan: Um, Nicole...be afraid. I think Koga just went to his room to get a weapon to kill Sesshomaru.

Megan sits down on Miroku's lap and thinks. Leesil goes outside to play with his stilettos and once again, Larry is too lazy to follow him or click the hidden camera on.

Nicole: I don't think it's that.

Nicole sniffles and gets more comfortable on Sesshomaru's lap. Koga comes back into the room with a big box and hands it to Nicole. Sesshomaru holds Nicole closer to him, looking at the box suspiciously. Nicole takes the box and rips it open, revealing a hug kitty stuffed animal. Megan grins.

Megan: He's trying to bribe you into picking him. That's...that's so sweet.

Megan bursts into tears and buries her face in Miroku's shoulder, sobbing, unable to choose. Miroku strokes her back gently, cooing softly to her. Nicole takes the stuffed animal and hugs it to her chest, eyes filling with tears. Sesshomaru pouts at Koga's attempt to win Nicole's favor and gently places her on the couch, going to his own room. Koga sits down in the place that Sesshomaru vacated and hugs Nicole.

Koga: You like it?

Nicole nods and hugs him back. Koga kisses her gently.

Koga: I'm glad you like it.

Megan is still sitting on Miroku's lap.

Megan: Hm...I don't know who to choose...

Leesil is still outside, shouting something that the others can't understand from where they are. Miroku hugs Megan tighter and kisses her. Megan still sobs. Sesshomaru re-enters the room with a big bouquet of flowers and hands it to Nicole. Nicole's eyes fill with more tears as she takes the flowers and hugs Sesshomaru, then hears Leesil yelling.

Nicole: I wonder what he's yelling about.

Koga pouts and kisses Nicole on the cheek. Sesshomaru kisses Nicole on the forehead.

Koga: Who cares?

Sesshomaru: Yeah, who cares?

Nicole: I do.

Nicole puts her presents down and goes outside, Megan following her, and Larry's camera. Leesil is sitting down in the middle of the yard, shouting curses in Elvish.

Megan: What are you saying, Leesil?

Leesil: I don't know, but my mother taught it to me.

Megan: Tsk tsk...she had a naughty mouth, didn't she?

Nicole blinks.

Nicole: Why are you cursing? And haha, Mommy had a naughty mouth!

Everyone stares at her and she clears her throat.

Nicole: Sorry.

Koga and Sesshomaru reluctantly come outside, pouting. The hidden camera clicks on upstairs as Miroku looks around.

Miroku: Why am I suddenly all alone up here!

Miroku panics and stands up.

Miroku: MEGAN!

Larry's camera zooms in on Megan as she she sighs. 

Megan: Miroku's feeling lost again. I'll be back.

The hidden camera follows Megan up the stairs.

Megan: Sorry, Miroku. We just wanted to know what Leesil was saying.

Megan hugs Miroku. Larry's camera zooms in a little closer as Nicole waves her hand in front of Leesil's face.

Nicole: Leesil, what were you shouting about? Hello?

Koga hands Sesshomaru a cookie. Sesshomaru hands Koga a lollipop. Nicole stares at them, wide-eyed.

Nicole: What the censored!

Koga: We've become best friends in the time that you were out here without us. We've found we have a lot in common.

Sesshomaru nods in agreement and Nicole blinks in shock.

The hidden camera returns to Megan and Miroku once more.

Megan: I really don't know who I'm going to choose...it's really hard.

Miroku kisses her.

Megan: We really should go back outside.

They both walk downstairs and outside. The hidden camera clicks off. Megan stops in shock, seeing Koga and Sesshomaru sharing.

Megan: What are they doing!

Nicole is still staring in shock.

Nicole: They're...being nice to each other!

Koga: Now, my good man, would you care for another cookie?

Sesshomaru: Yes, please. Would you like another lollipop?

Koga: Yes, thank you very much.

Sesshomaru: You are most welcome.

Nicole's mouth opens very wide, then she screams loudly.

Nicole: THEY'RE POSSESSED! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Nicole runs away, then comes back and goes over to Leesil.

Nicole: WHAT WERE YOU YELLING ABOUT! ANSWER ME ALREADY!

Leesil opens his eyes wide.

Leesil: Oops, it must have been a spell...

Megan gasps.

Megan: What!

Leesil: Sorry...

Miroku: So...does that mean you'll pick me? Because then he can't cast any weird spells on you...

Megan: Shut up, Miroku.

Megan notices that Miroku's about to cry.

Megan: Oops...I mean...

Megan hugs Miroku.

Nicole: What spell? AND WHAT WERE YOU YELLING ABOUT FOR THE FOURTH TIME!

Sesshomaru happily muches on his cookie, smiling. Koga happily sucks on the strawberry flavored lollipop, humming to himself. Sesshomaru and Koga start sing that stupid "You've Got a Friend in Me" song from Toy Story. Nicole gets very scared and slowly backs away.

Megan: So...um...Nicole...does that mean that you'll pick Leesil and I'll pick Miroku (or the other way around)? Because you obviously can't separate Sesshomaru and Koga.

Megan smiles and Miroku is still pouting.

Leesil: Look, I honestly don't know what I said, so everyone STOP YELLING AT ME!

Nicole: Oh. No, I'm not going to pick one of your boyfriends, Megan! The host said we have to pick one of our own.

Nicole is still debating on who to choose. Sesshomaru and Koga are still singing that stupid song. Nicole duct tapes both of their mouths. The host appears out of nowhere.

Host: Your time is up.

Megan doesn't pay attention because she is hugging Miroku. Miroku isn't paying attention because he's being hugged by Megan. Leesil doesn't hear because he's still yelling and has now pulled out a stiletto. Nicole, Koga, and Sesshomaru are not paying attention because they're trying to get the duct tape off their mouths and Nicole is stopping them.

Host: I'M NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR!

Everyone looks at him strangely.

Host: That's better. Now, who do you choose? Nicole, we'll start with you.

Nicole: Go to Megan, I'm still deciding.

Host: Well, Megan?

Megan doesn't answer.

Host: Nicole?

Megan and Nicole both open their mouths at the same time to answer, then the host starts laughing hysterically.

Host: Don't say anything! It was just a joke! You don't really have to choose anyone!

The host laughs some more.

Nicole, Koga, and Sesshomaru: It's not funny!

Miroku, Megan, and Leesil gasp.

Megan: Leesil, give me that stiletto...

Megan grabs the stiletto and prepares to attack the host.

Leesil: Hey, I wanted to use it...

Miroku grins.

Miroku: I've wanted to use my wind tunnel on you for a long time...

Nicole unsheathes her cat demon claws, Koga prepares to punch, Sesshomaru pulls out his attached-to-his-hand whip, and the host screams.

Host: IT WAS A JOKE! Get it? A JOKE!

Megan: Heh...right.

Megans throws the stiletto and hits his arm. Miroku frowns.

Miroku: Hmm...this might not be a good idea...I might suck up Megan too...

Miroku decides to wait to use his wind tunnel. Leesil grabs some of his other weapons and attacks the host. Nicole scratches the host's face with her claws. Koga beats him mercilessly. Sesshomaru whips him badly. The scene goes black.   
Screams of pain are heard as the host is attacked by everyone.

Sesshomaru: Hey, Miroku! Watch where you aim that thing!

Miroku: Oops, sorry!

There are some more screams.

Voiceover: Well, you won't get to see the host at the end of this episode, because he is too badly hurt to show on television. We'll have a substitute host until Ba-I mean Mr. Host Dude, recovers. Keep watching!

This show was brought to you by Acme Keyboard Polish. If it doesn't work, oh well! There's no money back guarantee! So tough luck, sucker! Ha ha!


	6. Episode 4

EPISODE 4  
((Since we almost killed our host in the last episode, we're going to be having a filler host named Ryan who is actually a good friend of Megan's and mine.))

The scene opens on everyone sitting in the living room, doing various things, camera zoomed out to include everyone in the shot. Megan is staring at a painting on the wall, shaking her head. Miroku is staring at Megan, nodding his head. Leesil is throwing his stilettos up in the air as one catches him on the finger. He cries briefly. Koga and Sesshomaru are singing "You've Got a Friend in Me"…STILL, this time adding in a Broadway/Rockette sort of dance. Nicole watches them from the couch, laughing and clapping her hands. The doorbell rings and Leesil hurries to answer it. He lets a messenger in, then goes back to playing with his stilettos.

The camera zooms in on the messenger.

Messenger: I have a message for Mrs. Nicole…they didn't list a last name. Are any of you named Nicole?

Megan: She is!

The camera zooms out a little as Megan points to Nicole, who waves her hand around in the air. The messenger hands Nicole a piece of paper.

Messenger: Sorry to be the bearer of bad news…

The messenger walks out the door and the camera zooms out to include everyone in the shot again. Nicole starts reading the paper and gasps.

Megan: What does it say?

Miroku and Leesil: What does it say!

Koga and Sesshomaru still sing "You've Got a Friend in Me", oblivious to the fact that no one is paying attention to them anymore. Megan tries to peek over Nicole's shoulder.

Nicole: It says...it says...

The camera zooms in on Nicole as she starts sobbing brokenly.

Nicole: Tsume's dead!

The camera zooms back out as Megan gasps.

Leesil: Hey, isn't he that weird guy who was here a few weeks ago and started a big fight about who you belonged to?

Nicole glares at Leesil as Koga and Sesshomaru silently go "yes" and do high fives. Nicole catches them out of the corner of her eye and glares, then runs upstairs to cry, the hidden camera clicking on to follow her. Larry's camera zooms in slightly as Megan throws a pillow at Leesil for being mean, then glares at Sesshomaru and Koga.

Megan: If you guys don't shut up...

She lets her threat hang in the air and goes upstairs to see what's wrong with Nicole.

Loud pounding is heard and then a scream of outrage from upstairs. Megan comes back downstairs.

Miroku: What's wrong?

Megan: Stupid door is locked...

The hidden camera shows Nicole loudly sobbing into a pillow.

Larry's camera zooms in on Koga and Sesshomaru.

Koga: Yay! He's gone! Now all I have to do is kill Sesshomaru!

Sesshomaru: Hey! I heard that!

Sesshomaru sniffles.

Koga: Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it, honest!

Sesshomaru: Sure you didn't.

The camera zooms back out to include Megan in the shot.

Megan: Would you two just SHUT UP already! One minute you're friends, and the next you aren't…Nicole's crying, and you aren't doing anything about it…

Megan gets a thoughtful look on her face.

Leesil: What are you thinking about?

Megan grins.

Megan: Give me those.

She steals a bunch of Leesil's weapons, then runs upstairs, hidden camera following her, and uses them to pick the lock on Nicole's door and enter.

Megan: Hey Nicole, are you okay?

She shuts door behind her. Nicole is still crying into her pillow, muffled speaking that sounds like "hef pock". Megan blinks.

Megan: Could you please repeat that in English?

Nicole: HEF POCK!

Megan sits down on floor, trying to figure out what the letters stand for.

Megan: Hen Enters Fort...Prairie Ocean Chickens Kill...? No, that cant be right..

Nicole is still talking into her pillow.

Nicole: Hef pock.

Megan tries to figure it out for a few more minutes, then apparently decides that she needs help.

Megan: Do you want me to get someone in here to translate?

Nicole: Mo, lon't keen ranklader.

Megan: First of all, my name is not Mo. And secondly, fine then don't have a translator. I'll just …stay here until you talk in English. 

Megan hugs Nicole.

Nicole: RI LAM RALLING INK ANKLICK!

Megan growls at Nicole and stalks out of the room, then goes to hug Miroku and pout, Larry's camera following her once more.

The hidden camera shows Nicole crying even louder into her pillow.

Larry's camera shows Koga and Sesshomaru pouting for some reason. Megan glares at Koga.

Megan: Go…talk…to…Nicole…NOW!

Koga gets up stiff-legged. 

Koga: Fine.

Sesshomaru pouts on the couch some more.

The hidden camera follows Koga as he goes up to the bedroom and knocks.

Nicole: Hef pock!

Koga: What the heck…?

He opens the door. Nicole is seen lying face down on the bed, crying her eyes out. Koga comes and sits next to her, rubbing her back.

Koga: What's wrong, baby?

Nicole sniffles.

Nicole: Fumay fied.

Larry's camera clicks on again as Miroku notices how annoyed Megan is, and hears the mumbling coming from Nicole's room, so he goes in there, hidden camera following him.

Miroku: Sorry, Nicole, but I have to do this…

He pulls her head from the pillow.

Miroku: Now speak in English!

He walks back downstairs, Larry's camera following him this time.

Megan: Where'd you go, Miroku?

She hugs him.

Miroku: To fix Nicole's problem.

Megan raises her eyebrow.

Megan: What did you do?

Miroku: Its not what you think!

Megan glares at him.

The hidden camera clicks on as Nicole pouts.

Nicole: I was speaking in English before.

Koga: You were?

Nicole: Yes.

She sniffles and wipes her nose with fist.

Koga: What did you say?

Nicole: First, I said "Get lost", then I said "No, don't need translator", then said "I am talking in English!", then "Get lost" again, then sniffle sniffle "Tsume died!"

She starts sobbing again.

Larry's camera clicks on as Megan hears English from Nicole's room and gets excited.

Megan: Nicole, come down here!

Leesil is seen playing with weapons again. Miroku pouts.

Miroku: Megan, don't make more people come down here…I want to talk to you!

Megan: Too bad.

She kisses him.

The hidden camera clicks on as Nicole flings herself onto the bed again.

Nicole: No, I don't want to!

Koga: Oh, it'll be okay, baby.

He gently lifts her up and settles her in his lap so she can cry on his shoulder, stroking her back and kissing her hair. Nicole keeps crying.

Sesshomaru: I hear kissing noises!

He jumps up and runs to the room.

Larry's camera zooms in on Megan.

Megan: Aww, how sweet…Sesshy's jealous.

gagging sounds are heard from upstairs, as Sesshomaru apparently walks into the room

Miroku: Well…while they are up there…

Megan: Don't even think about it. There are children present.

She points at Leesil, who is still playing with weapons, completely oblivious to everything.

The hidden camera clicks back on as Sesshomaru walks into room and gasps (and gags) at the scene he finds there. Nicole is still crying, and doesn't even know Sesshomaru's there. Koga pokes his tongue out at Sesshomaru.

Koga: It's okay, Nicole. It'll be fine.

Sesshomaru majorly pouts.

Larry's camera clicks back on as Miroku tries to kiss Megan. Megan allows him for a moment before apparently getting an idea…

Miroku: Why aren't you kissing back?

Megan: I'm sorry…

She grins.

Megan: RAPE!

Leesil grabs his weapons and apparently is worried for Megan's life until he sees her hysterical laughter.

The hidden camera clicks back on.

Sesshomaru: It's not fair! She pays more attention to you than she does to me!

Nicole finally realizes that Sesshomaru is there and gets up and goes over to him, wrapping herself in his arms. Koga pouts. Nicole, Sesshomaru, and Koga then hear Megan screaming "rape". Nicole blinks when she hears Megan yell this and runs downstairs. Koga and Sesshomaru look at each other and shrug, then run after her.

Larry's camera clicks back on as Ryan comes out of the kitchen. (insert "guest star" applause here)

Ryan: What's going on?

Megan is laughing hysterically at the expression on Miroku's face. Miroku is looking completely lost, and obviously has no idea why she randomly screamed that. Leesil glares at Miroku.

Leesil: What did you do!

Nicole blinks.

Nicole: Who raped you?

Koga and Sesshomaru: Yeah, who raped you?

Ryan: Yeah, who raped you? I'll knock him around a little.

Ryan makes fists. Nicole suddenly realizes Ryan is standing beside her and looks confused.

Nicole: Ryan, what are you doing here?

Ryan: Oh yeah, I'm filling in for your host, since you guys just about killed him.

Megan: No one raped me…not really. Miroku was trying to kiss me, and I thought that it would be fun to yell that…plus I'd warned him that he shouldn't try it right then.

Miroku pouts. Leesil grabs the nearest sharp object and threatens Miroku.

Leesil: I still think you tried something…and just think, you're a monk. You aren't supposed to do bad stuff.

The camera zooms in slightly.

Nicole: Oh...you mean you distracted me from my sobbing for THAT!

Sesshomaru: Yeah, and you distracted me from holding her while she sobbed for THAT!

Koga: Yeah, and you distracted me from pouting for THAT!

Ryan: And you distracted me from doing nothing for THAT!

Megan goes and hugs each of them.

Megan: Sorry, Nicole…Sorry, Sesshy, I know you were having fun…Sorry, Koga, even though that doesn't sound very cool…Sorry, Ryan, but I thought it would amuse you…

Nicole flops down onto the floor and starts randomly sobbing again. Sesshomaru flops down next to her and pulls her into his lap. Koga flops down on the couch and starts pouting. Ryan starts running around.

Ryan: YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME, YOU NASTY BRITS! THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!

Ryan runs in circles and hits a wall, and backs up and runs into it again and again and again, laughing idiotically the whole time. Megan stands back and watches, then goes up to Ryan and makes him stop.

Megan: Ryan, do you need to talk to someone about your problems? I've always wanted to be a psychiatrist…

She forces him to sit on the couch.

Ryan: BUT THE BRITISH ARE COMING! I CANNOT REST!

Nicole laughs hysterically at Ryan and falls over. The camera zooms in on the little group as Koga and Sesshomaru both try to catch her at the same time. Nicole gets caught by Sesshomaru. The camera zooms back out as Miroku raises eyebrow as he watches Nicole get caught.

Miroku: Come on Megan, don't be shy…fall into my arms.

Megan rolls her eyes.

Megan: Not a chance. I'm busy right now.

Miroku starts majorly pouting.

Ryan: I DON'T NEED A SHRINK! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME, YOU NASTY NOT-BRIT! 

He starts running all through the house, laughing stupidly. Sesshomaru sticks his tongue out at Koga.

Sesshomaru: Nyah, nyah!

Koga pouts some more and sits on the floor, imitating Shippo's infamous puppy face. Megan follows Ryan and ties him up with duct tape so that he can't escape, then forces him to go back downstairs and sit on the couch. Miroku gets wide eyes.

Megan: Don't worry, I'm not going to kiss him.

Miroku: GOOD!

Megan: Leesil, can I borrow that real quick?

Leesil: No!

He holds his weapon closer. Megan sighs.

Megan: Fine. Then you get to sit here and make sure he behaves.

Ryan: NOOO!

He struggles with the duct tape.

Ryan: THEY CAUGHT ME! YOU'LL NEVER GET IT OUT OF ME, COPPER!

Nicole blinks at Ryan and goes over to him, placing a hand on his forehead.

Nicole: Do you have a fever?

Koga's eyes go wide.

Koga: NO! SHE'S TOUCHING HIM!

Sesshomaru gets all demon fang-y. Nicole rolls her eyes.

Nicole: Chill out, you two.

Ryan: I'M FINE! BUT THEY CAUGHT ME!

Koga: Oh fine.

Koga sits in a chair with a huff. Sesshomaru glares one last time, then sits down in a different chair. Megan grins. 

Megan: Aww, look. They're jealous…hmm, here's an idea… 

She goes over and whispers to Nicole.

Miroku: I wonder what they're whispering about

Leesil: Let's eavesdrop.

Miroku: No, she might get violent and attack us.

Leesil: Good point.

Leesil goes and sits in a corner as Nicole giggles and nods.

Nicole: Hey, Ryan!

Ryan looks over.

Ryan: What? OH NO, THEY'RE BOTH GOING TO INTERROGATE ME! I CAN'T FACE BOTH OF THEM!

Nicole rolls her eyes and grins.

Nicole: No, I'm not going to interrogate you.

She looks over at Sesshomaru and Koga, then hugs Ryan. Koga and Sesshomaru bounce up and growl, closing in on Ryan.

Ryan: Hey, I was set up! No, honest, I didn't make her do it!

Nicole giggles and runs to hide in a closet with a peephole.

The camera zooms in on Megan as she grins and laughs hysterically. The camera zooms back out a little as Leesil raises his eyebrow. Megan falls over. Miroku jumps up.

Miroku: What's wrong? Are you okay?

Nicole is laughing loudly in a broom closet, but has a muffled voice. The camera zooms over to Nicole's closet door.

Nicole: I wonder why we have peepholes in our closets…I just noticed that all our closets are in or next to bathrooms…I BET MIROKU MADE THEM SO HE COULD STARE AT MEGAN AND ME WHEN WE GET OUT OF THE SHOWER!

She bursts out of the closet and tackles Miroku, the camera following her. It zooms over to Koga, Sesshomaru, and Ryan. Koga and Sesshomaru crack their knuckles and grin evilly as they advance on Ryan.

Ryan is sweating heavily and he gulps.

Ryan: SOMEBODY, HELP!

The camera zooms over to where Leesil, Megan, Nicole, and Miroku are.

Megan: Why are you tackling my Miroku?

Miroku seems to be enjoying himself temporarily. The camera zooms in on Megan as she attacks Nicole. 

Nicole: I tackled him because he put peepholes in the closets which are in or outside of all the bathrooms so he could stare at us when we get out of the shower!

The camera zooms out as Koga and Sesshomaru move to a new target after hearing that…Miroku. Ryan is seen breathing a sigh of relief. Megan grabs a stiletto from Leesil and throws it at Sesshomaru.

Megan: Hah! I hit him!

Nicole gasps and tackles Megan.

Nicole: NO!

Sesshomaru stares at the stiletto in his sleeve and pulls it out.

Sesshomaru: Didn't even nick the skin.

He moves back to the old target…Ryan, who screams. Koga glares at Miroku.

Koga: You're such a lecher!

Megan throws kitchen knife at Koga's head. (How did she get that?)

Miroku: Don't kill me!

Koga ducks and the knife hits the wall, as he still glares at Miroku. Nicole slaps Megan's hand.

Nicole: NO!

Nicole glares at Koga.

Nicole: NO!

Nicole glares at Sesshomaru, then suddenly stops.

Nicole: Oh, it's okay, you can attack him.

Sesshomaru grins and cracks his knuckles some more, slowly moving toward Ryan. Ryan screams louder, like a little girl, and starts sucking his thumb.

Sesshomaru: Ah, I change my mind. Cowards don't taste good.

He rolls his eyes and sits as far away from Megan as the room allows, not willing to have another stiletto ruin his perfectly ironed clothing. Koga pouts and sits next to Sesshomaru, not wanting another kitchen knife thrown at his head. The camera zooms in on Nicole, who looks exasperated.

Nicole: (to Megan) Aren't you going to do something about your pervert?

The camera swings over to Megan, who sighs and goes to save Ryan, whom she doesn't realize is already safe again, then it zooms out slightly.

Megan: Sesshomaru, leave him alone.

Miroku: Megan, don't let Koga eat me! muttering Why does everyone try to kill me?

Leesil: Can I have my weapons back now?

The camera swings over to where Sesshomaru and Koga are sitting.

Sesshomaru: I AM leaving him alone! I'm on the other side of the room!

The camera swings back over to where the others are, having Nicole, Miroku, Leesil, Megan, and Ryan in the shot. Nicole waves her arms around.

Nicole: Hello? Megan? Aren't you going to punish Miroku for putting peepholes in the closet?

Ryan pouts. The camera swings over to Koga, who finally realizes that Miroku asked Megan not to let Koga kill him.

Koga: I'm not going to eat you! You would taste bad! Perverts are nasty!

The camera swings back over to Miroku's side of the room, who sticks his tongue out at Koga. Megan glares at Miroku.

Megan: Don't put peepholes in the closets. Nicole has two boyfriends (at least), already. She doesn't want you spying on her.

Miroku pouts.

Megan: Don't give me that look!

The camera swings over to Koga, who sticks his tongue out at Miroku. The camera then zooms out to include everyone in the room in the shot as Nicole rolls her eyes.

Nicole: Koga, stop acting like a little kid.

Koga pouts, while Sesshomaru is sucking his thumb.

Ryan: Why are you sucking your thumb?

Sesshomaru: Nervous habit, shut up.

Ryan: And I was actually SCARED of you.

He rolls his eyes, then Sesshomaru snarls at him.

Ryan: And now I'm scared again… 

He quivers and whimpers.

Megan: Hey Ryan, maybe you shouldn't be the host anymore…you seem to get into a lot of fights…

Ryan: But I like being the host!

Nicole: Too bad.

She picks Ryan up and slings him over her shoulder, then dumps him outside on the stoop, dusting her hands off, the camera following her. She goes back into the room and the camera zooms back out again. Sesshomaru and Koga cheer.

Koga: Yay, he's gone!

Miroku: Yes! He's gone! That means I can do this!

Miroku kisses Megan. Megan apparently considers saying rape again, but decides against it and kisses him back. Leesil gets extremely jealous and curses in Elvish to the air.

Leesil: Valhachkasej'a!

The scene ends on Nicole jumping up and down and trying to get on the ceiling fan so she can ride it, Koga trying to get her down, Sesshomaru laughing and laughing as his face turns purple, Leesil pouting, Miroku grinning and kissing Megan, and Megan grinning and kissing Miroku. Then the camera goes black.

Production Note: Leesil's weapons were real, as we've said many times before. So gosh darn it, don't forget! glares at all the little kiddies playing with stilettos as they watch this program DARN IT, DON'T TRY WHAT HE DOES AT HOME! DIDN'T YOU SEE WHEN HE GOT HURT IN THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE? Not that we care, we just have to pretend that we do…for the sake of ratings. clears throat SO BE CAREFUL!

This episode was brought to you by: Bell Atlantic Phone Company…We don't exist anymore, so neither should you! a telephone growls and goes after all the people watching the reality program, waving a bloody butcher's knife in the air MUAHAHAHAHAHA!


End file.
